The clock is ticking, just not in your head
Plus 40 hours in Austin, the perfect spring sipper, and a deep dive on Louisiana shrimp
I haven’t aged since I was 28. At least, not in my head. Up until 28, I don’t think I ever felt or wanted to feel older than I was. (It probably helped that I worked in bars all through college, so the desire to be 21 never really applied, like it does to many college students.) I never felt younger. My age was just my age.
But something happened after 28. Whenever I’m asked how old I am, 28 is the first thing I want to say, even though I’m 34. It’s true that 28 was a great year. I met Nathan, we moved to Iraq, freelancing was going well and I was getting published in major publications for the first time, I was making more money than ever with writing, I was traveling almost non-stop, the pandemic was years away, etc. Still, I always thought there was more to it.
So I was thrilled to see this piece by Jennifer Senior on the age you are in your head. It’s fascinating. Mostly, I was surprised to find I am not alone and this is a massive phenomenon. It seems like no one’s actual age fits the age in their mind. Why hadn’t I asked anyone about this before?
I immediately texted my family: “without thinking too much about it, what age are you in your head?”
“Ok this is unfair because I read that article, but 24,” said my 29-year-old brother.
Interestingly, my 26-year-old brother felt about 26, but maybe because he’s still actually young.
I also texted a close friend.
“LOL. I have talked to so many people about this! 32. And I literally have to do the math to figure out how old I actually am.”
She’s 35.
For her, the pandemic was a big factor.
“Like, those years didn't count. I didn't really live them so it feels like they shouldn't count! I need a redo, lol.”
My mom, who is 63, said she feels 25. 25!! To be fair, she is a very fun and youthful person.
“It has just been this past year that I realized I am old…and I’ve been depressed,” she said. “And everyone asks, ‘how long are you going to teach preschool?’ I think, why? And then I remember I’m old.”
Much of her aging worries were about being tired more often and other normal, physical things, not so much mental.
Anyway, it was an interesting conversation that led to talks about aspirations, goals, timelines, reminiscing, and other insightful thoughts about youth with friends and family. Ask this question at your next dinner party!
For now, if there is one thing I am 100% sure of and have zero regrets about, it is that I am grateful I have spent my time and money on exploring the world, whether abroad or locally or through books. There are still more things I want to do and see and accomplish, and sure, time feels less endless than it did in my 20s. But if I died tomorrow I would be happy with how I’ve spent my 34 years. And I hope I can still say that in 10 years, or 20, or 50. That I have taken risks and gone for things and packed the years in with things that I love.
So, this is your reminder: what age are you in your head? If it’s younger than now, what was so great about it? What would that age you want real age you to be doing right now? So go for it! And if there is a place you’ve been dying to visit, let’s make it happen. Reminder that paid subscribers get a one hour zoom call with me to help plan your next trip... :)
This week, paid subscribers also get a guide to the Turkish coast, one of my favorite places on the planet.
40 Hours In Austin
Took a too-short trip to Austin to visit a good friend in March and it was so much fun. A few highlights:
Live music and beers at Central Machine Works, tacos at De Nada Cantina across the street, cocktails and gossip at Bosses Office, brunch at Joann’s Fine Foods, kayaking on Lady Bird Lake, brisket well worth the line at Terry Black’s BBQ, the extensive boot and hat selection at Allen’s Boots, more live music at Guero’s, a particularly memorable cantaloupe and tomato salad at Loro, the adorable two stepping scene at Broken Spoke, coffee on the lake at Mozart’s followed by a long walk on a trail I’m forgetting the name of––I didn’t realize Austin is so green! It was a packed two days. Cannot wait to go back and spend more time.
Travel for the Food
Louisiana shrimp is the best I’ve ever had. It’s always fresh, and every single restaurant cooks it perfectly. I have yet to have a mediocre piece of shrimp here.
In 2019, the state passed a law requiring restaurants to specify if shrimp or crawfish is imported. They have to list it on the menu, or if they don't use menus they have to post a sign at least 17 inches high and 18 inches wide with letters no smaller than 1 inch, or have the staff explain that the seafood comes from elsewhere. About two billion pounds of shrimp are imported to the U.S. each year.
Louisiana shrimp is at risk, due to diseases from imported shrimp and an eroding coastline. WWNO, a local NPR station here, has a fantastic new podcast about environmental issues facing communities along the Gulf Coast. Episode one is about shrimp and worth a listen even if you don’t live here. There’s a lot you might not know about where the shrimp in your grocery store or local restaurant comes from.
Wine of the Week
It was 90 degrees on Tuesday. I’ve moved on to sipping summer beverages on the porch. Specifically, Lillet (lee-LAY).
This is a French aromatized wine made with a blend of Bordeaux grapes and fortified with citrus liqueurs. It’s generally drunk as an apertif. I keep it low maintenance and drink the Lillet Blanc over ice with a twist of lemon, but you can also use it in a spritz (with soda water or sparkling wine), add it to a Vesper in place of the gin, or add it to a Paloma (use half the tequila). How do you drink your Lillet? Let me know if you have any creative cocktails I should be making.
Weekend Reading
How to have a Midwestern conversation (And this is another recent issue of her newsletter I liked.)
This made me love Ari Shapiro even more
The wine shop I used to work at was named best wine shop in Chicago in the recent “Best of Chicago awards.” If you live in the city and haven’t been, I promise you’ll love it.
I went on a package trip for millennials. Help me. (For anyone who has ever wondered what a press trip is like, it’s pretty much exactly this!)
My family was murdered on my wedding day. Here’s why the U.S. is partly responsible. (This is really heartbreaking but I think it's also really important to read. I’m not sure how many Americans even realize this campaign is still happening.)
Traveling to France soon? Paris-based food writer David Lebovitz has tips on how to deal with ongoing strikes. (About halfway down.)
The 20th anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq was last month. The country is a freer place, but not a hopeful one. I also enjoyed this photo essay from a photographer who left when he was a kid and returned for the first time this year. And now is a good time to read about burn pit exposure.
Thailand’s unemployed elephants are back home, and hungry
The height of domestic luxury? Designer ice.
This martini package is so well done!
RIP. If you know, you really know. This place and its sweet potato burrito that was available until 4am was a big part of my college and bartending life.
The great LA dumpling drama (also if you’re ever near a Din Tai Fung location, you must go.)
Lol. I don’t know all the gumbo rules yet, but I know this is wrong.
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The best April Fool’s joke I saw on the internet this year. Wish it was real!
The impact of cruises on Alaska
The secret behind Japan’s delicious strawberries? Kerosene.
Banned from Russian airspace, U.S. airlines rush to restrict competitors
Nathan every time he goes to the store
Loved this story about seeing the world through kids’ eyes
And through 81-year-old eyes ⤵️
Google Flights will now reimburse you if your flight price changes after booking
Please be careful buying over the counter drugs in Los Cabos, Tijuana, and elsewhere
5 party activities for grown ups
Bali is rethinking its open door policy
Next time: The Turkish town that’s a perfect alternative to Greece. And this week, paid subscribers get a full Turkish coast guide.
Thank you for reading!
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–Rebecca 💛
I definitely feel like I'm in my mid-20s still. Just cruisin' along in life without a care in the world! Although I do feel like the pandemic has changed that a little and maybe I'm internally aging to my late 20s.
Thanks for all the links as well!
Those articles about the Saudi arms and the elephants -- man.. There just aren't words.