Seneca was wrong

On the concept of home, friendships, and other ramblings

To be everywhere is to be nowhere. People who spend their whole life traveling abroad end up having plenty of places where they can find hospitality but no real friendships. - Seneca 

I came across this quote in Austin Kleon’s newsletter last week and have been thinking about it nonstop ever since. The quote was new to me, but the issue has been on my mind for years.

I have moved many times since 2010, when I graduated college. Eleven cities, four countries, three states (plus DC), 15 apartments. That doesn’t count months spent traveling to dozens of other places.

In my experience it’s not true that people who spend their life traveling don’t find real friendships, but it does make it harder. It takes 50 hours with someone to become friends, 140 hours to become close, apparently. The path to friendship requires seeing someone consistently. It’s hanging out, like we all did in college. Running errands together, sitting around the morning after a night out, getting brunch, watching TV, hangouts that bleed into dinner, more drinks, etc.